I want to finish up the week with my personal Top Ten List of Rodney Dangerfield's Greatest Jokes. The man was a freakin' genius...
10) I’m a bad lover. Once I caught a Peeping Tom booing me.
9) My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg.
8) A girl phoned me and said “Come on over, there’s nobody home.” I went over. Nobody was home.
7) I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, “Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?” She said, “No…I hate myself now.”
6) She was no bargain, either. She was so fat that she wears a “Cross Your Thighs” bra.
5) The last time I say a mouth like hers it had a hook in it.
4) I took her to a dog show and she won first prize.
3) I went to my doctor…you know him…Dr. Vidi-Boom -Ba?…Yeah…I told him once …”Doctor, Every morning when I get up and look in the mirror, I feel like throwing up, what’s wrong with me?” He said, “I don’t know, but your eyesight is perfect.
2) My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.
And my favorite:
1) My psychiatrist told me I am going crazy. I told him, “If you don’t mind, I’d like a second opinion…” He said, ‘Alright, you’re ugly too.”
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